Oh, India: Swastikas

About a month after moving to Mumbai, my friend Sarah and I took a trip down to the beach state of Goa to go to a wedding. It was my first time on the train, the sun was just setting, and we were happy to be getting away for the weekend. I was mid-sentence when the people who would be sharing our berth entered and as I turned my head to greet them I came face-to-face with a giant black swastika, in a white circle, with a red border. My heart literally stopped in panic and my mind screamed, “Oh My God We’re Going to be Traveling with NAZIS!” In shock, I worriedly looked up…and into the face of a dorky, skinny, smiling Indian teenage boy wearing glasses. He wasn’t a Nazi or white supremacist at all. He was a Hindu, wearing a huge Nazi symbol on his shirt. But he was a nice person. Phew.

Of course, I had seen the swastika all over the place already. At school, one of my friends had them on her earrings. Rainbow cellophane swastika stickers adorned windows and cars. It was drawn in the borders of printed images of the Gods, and, most disturbingly, finger-painted in red on the outside of most buildings and houses. It’s one of the holiest symbols in Hinduism and it’s everywhere.

Now, for anyone who’s from the West, or who’s seen “Life is Beautiful”, or learned about Anne Frank, or who’s, um, Jewish, the prevalence of this symbol here is shocking. Don’t these crazy Hindus know about history? Haven’t they ever heard about concentration camps or that guy named Hitler? Don’t they realize that this symbol is equated with hate? They might but their answer to these questions would probably be “Well, it was our symbol first.” As Wikipedia will quickly tell you, the swastika has been a lucky and auspicious symbol for many religions and cultures all over the world for thousands of years. It was precisely because it was so valued by so many that that jerk Hitler appropriated it for himself. Yes, he turned it a little bit to the right, but more significant than his graphic design choice was how he made such a positive symbol into such a negative one. I mean, I had a truly visceral response to that huge swastika. It made me afraid. But it makes an Indian feel just the opposite: blessed and happy.

There’s a lot to be inferred here, lessons in cultural differences, history, the power of symbols. And it’s interesting that the swastika shirt boys’ friend was wearing a shirt with a row of all the symbols of the major religions-Catholic cross, star of David, the Islamic Moon, an Om-universal symbols that are positive to some, negative to others, but were co-existing equally, even if only through silkscreen. Because I’m living here I’m slowly liberating the swastika from its unfortunate place in my Western mind. I even drew a few on a little altar I made. I admit that it felt strange to do it but it also felt good to take control of my perception of something and change it. I don’t think I’ll be sporting a swastika t-shirt anytime soon, or bringing any swastika jewelry home for my Mom. But I won’t have that terrified look next time I meet one face to face. "Heil Hindus" anyone?

Here's one for the sticker album

Very special tiles for the holy Tulsi plant

Don't worry, it's red paint

"Rules" for Driving in India

1. Seatbelts, motorcycle helmets, and car seats are not required.

The driver might be offended if you start to put on your seatbelt or suggest they use theirs. It will be seen as a lack of confidence in their ability to drive. Often times seatbelts are not available in the backseat as they have never been pulled out.

Motorcycle helmets are not particularly popluar. If you have a helmet with a chin strap, you need not fasten the strap, making your helmet more of a fashion statement then a safety precaution. It is perfectly fine for you to wear a helmet but your co-rider to not wear one, and if you have a kid (or kids) on your bike with you, they can't wear a helmet as they don't make 'em that small.

No one even knows what a car seat for a baby is, so you can just hold her on your lap.

No one in the history of India has worn a helmet while riding their bicycle.

2. Five is the maximum number of people that can ride on one motorcycle.

This is not for safety reasons but because that is the most humanly possible. This will only work when two kids between the ages of 4 and 10 are sandwiched between Mom (on the back) and Dad (driving), with a toddler riding up front.


(Remember when everyone got hysterical over Britney Spears driving with her young son on her lap? Well imagine Britney AND Kevin AND both boys cruising down the 101 with no helmets.)

Four teenage boys can ride on one bike as long as they're all really skinny. Three on the bike can accomadate fatter people and old people too.

3. There are no traffic signs anywhere.

You will not be told the speed limit, that there's merging, if it's a one way street or warned about speed bumps.

Most notably missing are stop signs. They do not exist. Because of this, no one practices looking both ways to check oncoming traffic. When you exit an alley onto a main thoroughfare don't stop and don't bother to look if anyone is coming. At four way intersections everyone has the right of way.

If you see a pile or dirt of rocks in the middle of the road with some tree branches sticking out, don't be puzzled. This is a clever improvisation of a road work sign.


4. Learn to love your horn.

You can and will honk your horn at all times. One honk at a dog about to cross. Two honks to let someone know you are driving by them. Four honks to tell someone to move out of the way. Six honks to remind them again if they don't move. Sustained honking if you are sitting in traffic and getting frustrated. (These are just rough guidelines; all types of honks can be interchanged at will.)

Habitual horn honking is an addiction, fed by the omnipresent command "BLOW HORN" that is emblazened on the back of every single truck.


5. Never yield to pedestrians.

Ever. Not even for a pregnant lady or a blind man.
Only stop for people when they step in front of your car.

6. It's perfectly acceptable to drive on the wrong side of the road.

Not the wrong side of the road as compared to U.S. roads but the wrong side of the road literally, against oncoming traffic.

7. When driving on the open road, your objective at all times should be to pass, pass, pass.

Passing is allowed at all times, including on very windy roads and could be considered the national Indian pastime. You should always be swerving into the other lane to see if you can pass whatever is in front of you. If there's only a motorcycle in the oncoming lane, it's perfectably acceptable to pass and make them move on the shoulder. As you pass, flash your brights at the oncoming cars so they know to slow down and don't forget to honk. A lot.

8. Fender benders are no big deal.

If you bump a car in traffic, scratch a door in the parking lot, or knock over a bike in the crowded market, you do not need to make apologies. You don't even have to stop. It wasn't your fault anyway. This also applies to minor accidents when no one was hurt too seriously (i.e. killed).

9. Go with the flow.

At any given time in your direct line of sight there will be thirty to fifty people, dozens of cars, even more motorcycles, guys on wobbly bicycles, push carts of vegetables and goods, and livestock. Though it may be overwhelming, you must remember that it all functions by the guiding hand of some mysterious force and that you must surrender to this force. Do not hesitate. Go into every intersection with confidence, avoid people merging with grace, and be prepared for close calls. About one a minute.


10. Yield to cows.

You have no choice. Though why they want to be in the middle of the road during rush hour is still a mystery.

11. Fear no cops.

When you don't have to take a test to get your license (you just pay around $20) not much can be done about teaching people rules or ettiquete. Therefore, traffic police are few and far between. If you happened to get stopped, money talks. In fact, the only thing that's illegal in India is not paying a bribe.

12. Any attempt to apply Western driving practices or common courtesies will only result in confusion.

Don't stop in the middle of the road to let people waiting in the median cross. Don't pause to let a car exit a driveway onto the road. They won't do it because they don't understand what you're doing. Instead, you'll just mess up the flow. Furthermore, don't try to rationalize or analyze too deeply anything that you encounter or witness on the road. It will probably defy logic as you know but you're better off accepting this version of reality than trying to understand it.

Rules for Passengers

1. Just close your eyes.

Our Maid, The Thief

Indian culture is a maze of social customs, where appearances are put on for the sake of others, anything can be done for the right price, and "no" can always be negotiated. Drama, or should I say dramatics, are an integral part of communication, acted at will when required and accepted reluctantly by all around. Everyone is out for themself, and anyone who isn't a member of your immediate family (and sometimes those who are) must be treated with caution. If, one day, they reveal a two-faced nature, you can swear you saw it coming all along.

So when my ring, which I had accidentally left in the kitchen, came up missing this morning, my mother-in-law did a verbal checklist of possible suspects: "Me? Trustworthy. You? Fine. Love (my husband)? Trustworthy. Shahid (the other servant)? Honest man. Maid?" Here she furrowed her brow and shook her finger at me. "Dishonest. I don't trust her."

We searched the kitchen, recalled our last memories of the ring, and agreed that the part-time maid, who comes every morning to clean the kitchen, must have pocketed it. She was summoned to the house. I was soberly instructed that when she I arrived I had to start crying, wail about my lost engagement ring, and eventually threaten her with a police complaint. I assured I would do my best.

The maid arrived and was questioned roughly, while denying any and everything. I was then given my cue through a sideways glance, and while I tried my hardest to bring fury forth (and Lord knows I'm living in a house with a master of this technique: an Indian mother) the best I could muster was a worried, distraught look, peppered with genuine accusatory wrath. The maid was handed a broom and a dustpan and told to look for the ring.

And then a curious thing happened. My mother-in-law grabbed my wrist and we left the room. With her fingers pursed to her lips, she ushered me into her bedroom, a knowing look on her face, and we sat, straining to hear the sounds of the maid sweeping. About 30 seconds later there was a smug cry from the kitchen, and my mother-in-law, motioning for me to stay behind, left the room. I was summoned a few minutes later.

"The maid found your ring." She held it out to me. "Tell her thank you."

The maid was crouching on the floor, an angry look on her face, refusing to make eye contact. She was trying to play wrongfully accused but her guiltiness was spoiling her performance.

"Thank you," I muttered.

My mother-in-law then began to scold me. "This maid is a good lady. She's worked for me for one year. Not a bad lady."

Uh-huh. I knew that this was just for show, so I acted sorry for accusing her and got out of there as fast as I could. They then proceeded to argue for about a half an hour, the maid eventually crying crocodile tears and begging for her job. Despite the show I never once doubted that she was guilty. I thoroughly searched the kitchen, including the place of her "discovery" (under the flour cupboard).

After she left the mood became light. Problem had been solved, crisis averted. We all knew that she had taken the ring, just as she had taken the out generously given to her. My mother-in-law, by leaving the room while the maid searched, had used proper tactics and was proud of the outcome. Turned out she had slipped the maid a Rs 100 note after she "found" the ring as a "reward". "What? A reward for her dishonesty?" I asked. But it didn't really matter that the maid had been caught stealing; she had never been trusted and my carelessness of leaving the ring out had given rise to her temptation. What mattered was that we had gotten the ring back.

"So, we're going to fire the maid, right?" I couldn't believe I even had to ask.

"No, no, she's a good worker."

"What?!? She stole from us! I can wash the dishes until we find a new maid."

"Everyone is dishonest but not everyone is a good worker. Just make sure you keep all your things in your room. No trust."

I know enough by now to know that even if my argument is concretely backed by common sense, it is no use to argue, for I will not win. So I promised to keep anything of value under lock and key and moved on with the day.

It was another example of the charade of Indian culture. We knew she was guilty, she knew that we knew that she was guilty, yet she also knew that when she pretended to find the ring we would go along, even rewarding her for it, and she could keep her job. I can't decide if it's being dishonestly honest or honestly dishonest.

Imagine this scenario in the U.S. If a maid were suspected of stealing they would be fired, even if they gave back the ring. It seems blatantly obvious, until I begin to wonder about the chances of ever actually getting the ring back. Probably the maid would suffer the consequences of stealing but still get away with the ring. The best thing would be to manipulate them into giving it back by allowing them to "find" it, then give 'em the axe.

But that's not the way it worked out here.

I'm not glad that the maid still works for us but I am glad to have my ring. It doesn't sit well that we have a known thief working for us but she's unlikely to do it again and I'm certainly not going to give her the chance. She won't be getting any cheery greetings from me in the morning, either. Tonight I decided to make an elaborate feast for dinner and used every dish in the kitchen, burned food in the bottom of all the pans, and left melted sugar all over the counters. Maybe that will teach her a lesson.